Are you living in an abusive situation?
This questionnaire is designed to help you decide if you are living in an abusive situation. There are different forms of abuse, and not every woman (or man) experiences all of them.
NOTE: We acknowledge that there are also male victims of domestic violence and they need help and services the same as female victims, which we can also provide. However, the percentage of male victims is very small, so for ease of reading and flow of words, this website is written as if addressing women.
Below are various questions about your relationship with your partner. As you can see, each possible answer has points assigned to it. By answering each question and then totaling these points as directed, you can compare your score with the Abuse Index. You will know if you are living in a potentially violent situation, and if you are abused, you will have some estimate of how dangerous that abuse is.
For each of the the following questions, answer with one of the below:
- Frequently 3
- Sometimes 2
- Rarely 1
- Never 0
Record your points for each question, then total these after completing the questionnaire.
Are you a victim?
1. Does he continually monitor your time and make you account for every minutes (when you run errands, visit friends, commute to work, etc?)
2. Does he ever accuse you of having affairs with other men or act suspicious that you are?
3. Is he ever rude to your friends?
4. Does he ever discourage you from starting friendships with other people?
5. Do you ever feel isolated and alone, as if there was nobody close to you to confide in?
6. Is he overly critical of daily things, such as your cooking, your clothes, or your appearance?
7. Does he demand a strict account of how you spend money?
8. Do his moods change radically, from very calm to very angry, or vice versa?
9. Is he disturbed by you working or by the thought of you working?
10. Does he become angry more easily if he drinks?
11. Does he pressure you for sex much more often than you would like?
12. Does he become angry if you don't want to go along with his request for sex?
13. Do you quarrel much over financial matters?
14. Do you quarrel much about having children or raising them?
15. Does he ever strike you with his hands or feet (slap, punch, kick, etc.)?
16. Does he ever strike you with an object?
17. Does he ever threaten you with an object or weapon?
18. Has he ever threatened to kill either himself or you?
19. Does he ever give you visible injuries (such as welts, bruises, cuts, lumps on the head)?
20. Have you ever had to treat any injuries from his violence with first aid?
21. Have you ever had to seek professional aid for any injury at a medical clinic, doctor's office, or hospital emergency room?
22. Does he ever hurt you sexually or make you have sex against your will?
23. Is he ever violent toward children?
24. Is he ever violent toward other people outside of your home and family?
25. Does he ever throw objects or break things when he gets angry?
26. Has he ever been in trouble with the police?
27. Have you ever called the police or tried to call them because you felt you or other members of your family were in danger?